Finding Your Tribe

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Writing is a solitary activity. We've all heard that, and I think most writers would agree. It's hard to write in a noisy or a collaborative environment. People do it—writers are also parents, children, siblings, roommates. If a writer lives with another person, chances are that other person makes some noise once in a while. Writers write in coffee shops, train stations, at their day jobs, wherever they can. Writers who are well-matched may collaborate on a piece of work, whether a novel or a memoir or nonfiction. Authors work on anthologies together, where a common theme binds the individual pieces, but each author writes his or her own story to contribute to the whole.

But the majority of the time, writers work in quiet solitude. I would put forth that, most of the time, writers prefer that work-time solitude. I know I do.

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While privacy and a lack of distractions may be ideal for getting words on paper, what about the rest of the time? Extended periods of isolation are not the norm for human beings. We're generally social by nature. Even the anti-social among us have a friend or two they can turn to when the mood strikes. Most people need a support network. True hermits are the exception.

Take writers as a group and plunk them on the continuum of human social interaction, however, and you'll find a heavy preponderance of introverts. Not all writers, clearly. I'm speaking in generalities, but a high percentage would certainly fit that description. They have their personal circles—friends and family—but in many cases, friends and family don't truly understand the journey a writer is on. So much of that journey is lived on an internal landscape. Family members may have a difficult time providing the types of support a writer needs most. Co-workers at a day job are in a similar boat, if they even know their co-worker writes on the side to begin with. For writers who pen stories in genres like erotic romance, for example, they may have to keep all evidence of their second career completely hidden for professional reasons.

So where do those often-solitary writers go, especially shy, introverted writers, to find writerly support?

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That's where a writer's group comes in. It takes courage for a shy writer to get up the gumption to join a group, but if they can make themselves take that step, the results can be invaluable, shy or not. Finding the right one is key, and may require some trial and error in the process, but it's so worth the effort.

As a romance writer, I resisted joining Romance Writers of America (RWA) for years, because I was too shy and insecure to think I was worthy of belonging to the same organization as all of my romance-writer idols. But once I walked in the door of my very first local meeting, it was like a weight I hadn't even known I was carrying was lifted from my shoulders. I had found my tribe.

Since then, the amount of support, shared knowledge and camaraderie with which those women have enriched my life has been an incalculable benefit to the professional support of the organization itself. I'm a better writer, and a better person, for joining their ranks.

If you're a writer, shy or not, I highly recommend finding a writing group (or two or three) to join. Not only will you find professional support and a knowledge base available nowhere else, you will gain the personal support of people on a similar journey.

Writing is a tough business. There are times when only the commiseration of a fellow writer will see you through the darkness and out the other side. There are times when only you will be able to be that supportive person for someone else. Build your networks now, and we'll all be better for your efforts in the future.